Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
