I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
