five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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