Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
