Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
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I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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