If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
