Heybabeimwearingurpanties
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
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