You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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