He disabled his match.com account in front of me
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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