I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
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