...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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