Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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