im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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