I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.