We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
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Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.