so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.