Are you guys doing anything tonight?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.