Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
You should frame my arrest warrant.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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