you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
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you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo