I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
