is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I just blew my weed a kiss
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I pour the whiskey from now on
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
