She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize