Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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