well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
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