On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
you didnt know i had herpes?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
