need another drink. this is the easiest way
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
