And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
