so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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