I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
