after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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