Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
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I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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