Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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