Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
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Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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