I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
