So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?