I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter