did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
