Texts From Last Night

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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.

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  (973): i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell. http://tfl.nu/umpc
  Replies (15) Good night (829) Bad night (2526)
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  (862): View more from New Jersey

  My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job

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  (862): My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job http://tfl.nu/i0ci
  Replies (56) Good night (4965) Bad night (1489)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy

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  (412): and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy http://tfl.nu/w9ds
  Replies (3) Good night (3157) Bad night (1051)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.

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  (513): Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team. http://tfl.nu/vssn
  Replies (7) Good night (3293) Bad night (803)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.

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  (773): we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby. http://tfl.nu/gkxo
  Replies (4) Good night (2857) Bad night (758)
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  (408): View more from California

  My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.

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  (408): My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me. http://tfl.nu/7zz8
  Replies (5) Good night (1275) Bad night (2266)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."

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  (519): I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it." http://tfl.nu/vqit
  Replies (14) Good night (4617) Bad night (859)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.

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  (907): Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina. http://tfl.nu/7bx7
  Replies (2) Good night (888) Bad night (498)
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  (631): View more from New York

  Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps

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  (631): Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps http://tfl.nu/unlw
  Replies (2) Good night (413) Bad night (783)
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  (415): View more from California

  Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.

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  (415): Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it. http://tfl.nu/rry5
  Replies (5) Good night (643) Bad night (359)
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  (415): View more from California

  Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with

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  (415): Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with http://tfl.nu/l7pz
  Replies (3) Good night (470) Bad night (501)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?

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  (413): So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober? http://tfl.nu/dhkh
  Replies (1) Good night (325) Bad night (473)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed

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  (313): I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed http://tfl.nu/x74n
  Replies (1) Good night (596) Bad night (381)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.

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  (773): I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful. http://tfl.nu/5jgt
  Replies (1) Good night (443) Bad night (183)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.

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  (301): I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes. http://tfl.nu/nn8c
  Replies (2) Good night (220) Bad night (297)

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