hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.