He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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