driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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