hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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