Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
be right there i have to get my cape
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
