Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
