Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
