Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
