I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
