I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize