dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
