I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
This house was built for laser tag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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