literally had 100 drinks last night.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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