grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
