nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
