It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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