Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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