Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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