i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
