I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
