No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
my nose is crying tears of wow.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
