OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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