i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
