Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
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My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
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And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
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