yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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