I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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