my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
