1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize