What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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