My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
They are going to name an STD after you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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