just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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