How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
